Quote

I have to stop crying when I watch The View. It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Funny
Sorry
Hands
View
Feel
Watches
Feels
Watch
Couch
Humor
Couches
Views
Topics
Stop
Crying
Hand
Cry

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I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'
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American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.
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It's fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don't play on emotion too much.
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Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk I'll take it!
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We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics.
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My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
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Privacy is big for me. To do interviews even, I have a very love/hate with it.
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I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.
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I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell I have diarrhea is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
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I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.
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I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food
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I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.
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There was a long time where I was an artist in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.
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I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
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I'm terrible at heights. I hate it. I'm glad I'm only 5'7.
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You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.
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It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me'. Being popular is poison.
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You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
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