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When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Hard
Like
Cheese
Table
Tables
Humor
Funny
Look
Looks
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say I didn't like 9/11.
Zach Galifianakis
I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.
Zach Galifianakis
There was a long time where I was an artist in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.
Zach Galifianakis
We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the Girlfriend in a Coma is, like, really funny.
Zach Galifianakis
The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
Zach Galifianakis
Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'
Zach Galifianakis
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
Zach Galifianakis
My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Zach Galifianakis
You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.
Zach Galifianakis
I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
Zach Galifianakis
I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
Zach Galifianakis
I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy.
Zach Galifianakis
Hookers don't like to snuggle.
Zach Galifianakis
I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.
Zach Galifianakis
I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called God, I Hope That's a Mole.
Zach Galifianakis
I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
Zach Galifianakis
I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
Zach Galifianakis
My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
Zach Galifianakis
