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You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Laundry
Dry
Humor
Funny
Time
Sneaker
Sneakers

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.
Zach Galifianakis
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You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
Zach Galifianakis
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I like characters that are fragile and a little bit on the edge .
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.
Zach Galifianakis
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We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the Girlfriend in a Coma is, like, really funny.
Zach Galifianakis
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When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.
Zach Galifianakis
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Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.
Zach Galifianakis
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Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.
Zach Galifianakis
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I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging.
Zach Galifianakis
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I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
Zach Galifianakis
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I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
Zach Galifianakis
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I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
Zach Galifianakis
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You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
Zach Galifianakis
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I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.
Zach Galifianakis
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When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.
Zach Galifianakis
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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Zach Galifianakis
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The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
Zach Galifianakis
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I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work, it's really quite the opposite of what I am. I like sensitive art-house movies. I'm not even much of a partier. I mean, I'll drink myself into oblivion alone in my car.
Zach Galifianakis
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I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.
Zach Galifianakis