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I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 54
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Times
Tell
Place
Certain
Self
Employed
Kind
Advantage
Like
Anybody
Stand
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people are desperate, and a lot of people are clueless, including me. It's hard to try to figure it out. I've never told you, but I have head shots that if you saw them... they're so terrible! It's so embarrassing.
Zach Galifianakis
When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
Zach Galifianakis
The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
Zach Galifianakis
My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
Zach Galifianakis
I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.
Zach Galifianakis
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
Zach Galifianakis
I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.
Zach Galifianakis
I have to stop crying when I watch The View. It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.
Zach Galifianakis
When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
Zach Galifianakis
My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
Zach Galifianakis
I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.
Zach Galifianakis
I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that.
Zach Galifianakis
I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
Zach Galifianakis
You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
Zach Galifianakis
There was a long time where I was an artist in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.
Zach Galifianakis
My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
