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I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 54
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
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Tell
Place
Certain
Self
Employed
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Advantage
Like
Anybody
Stand
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
My comfort zone is press conferences.
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I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
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There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life.
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
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I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.
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When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
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I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.
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My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.
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The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out I don't think it really exists anymore.
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I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.
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Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
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Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
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I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say I didn't like 9/11.
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As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.
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I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.
Zach Galifianakis
I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
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I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.
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Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
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I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
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When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
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