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I'm terrible at heights. I hate it. I'm glad I'm only 5'7.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Heights
Height
Glad
Terrible
Hate

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.
Zach Galifianakis
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But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
Zach Galifianakis
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I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, What the hell is this? This person's happy! You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.
Zach Galifianakis
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People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.
Zach Galifianakis
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My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.
Zach Galifianakis
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Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.
Zach Galifianakis
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it.
Zach Galifianakis
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The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
Zach Galifianakis
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You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group.
Zach Galifianakis
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I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.
Zach Galifianakis
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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
Zach Galifianakis
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Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'
Zach Galifianakis
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The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out I don't think it really exists anymore.
Zach Galifianakis
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I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
Zach Galifianakis
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I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
Zach Galifianakis
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I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.
Zach Galifianakis