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I'm terrible at heights. I hate it. I'm glad I'm only 5'7.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Glad
Terrible
Hate
Heights
Height

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.
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I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92.
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Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
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My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
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My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
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Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
Zach Galifianakis
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If you see something, say something.
Zach Galifianakis
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When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
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I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.
Zach Galifianakis
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At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work, it's really quite the opposite of what I am. I like sensitive art-house movies. I'm not even much of a partier. I mean, I'll drink myself into oblivion alone in my car.
Zach Galifianakis
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I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
Zach Galifianakis
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Hookers don't like to snuggle.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
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When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.
Zach Galifianakis
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I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.
Zach Galifianakis
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The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
Zach Galifianakis
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis