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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Much
Reciting
Easier
Lines
Making
Stuff
Hard
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.
Zach Galifianakis
I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.
Zach Galifianakis
My comfort zone is press conferences.
Zach Galifianakis
I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
Zach Galifianakis
Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
Zach Galifianakis
There was a long time where I was an artist in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.
Zach Galifianakis
My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say I didn't like 9/11.
Zach Galifianakis
My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
Zach Galifianakis
Hookers don't like to snuggle.
Zach Galifianakis
Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
Zach Galifianakis
I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
Zach Galifianakis
I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food
Zach Galifianakis
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
Zach Galifianakis
I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
Zach Galifianakis
Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
Zach Galifianakis