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My real last name is Galifianakisburg.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Name
Names
Lasts
Last
Real

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
Zach Galifianakis
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I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
Zach Galifianakis
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I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
Zach Galifianakis
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I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.
Zach Galifianakis
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Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.
Zach Galifianakis
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I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.
Zach Galifianakis
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I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.
Zach Galifianakis
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My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
Zach Galifianakis
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I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that.
Zach Galifianakis
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I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.
Zach Galifianakis
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I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
Zach Galifianakis
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
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I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
Zach Galifianakis
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Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'
Zach Galifianakis
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My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
Zach Galifianakis
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My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
Zach Galifianakis
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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Zach Galifianakis
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The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
Zach Galifianakis