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I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
School
Back
Enough
Something
Versed
Constitutional
Office
Law
Running
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Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.
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You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.
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I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.
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I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.
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I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people are desperate, and a lot of people are clueless, including me. It's hard to try to figure it out. I've never told you, but I have head shots that if you saw them... they're so terrible! It's so embarrassing.
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Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
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I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.
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My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.
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You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
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My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
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My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.
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Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.
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I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
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I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it.
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I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food
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You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.
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I don't know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.
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I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.
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American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.
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Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
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