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I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Office
Law
Running
School
Back
Enough
Something
Versed
Constitutional
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.
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I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.
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If you see something, say something.
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I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'
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My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
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You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.
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I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
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People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.
Zach Galifianakis
I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
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I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work, it's really quite the opposite of what I am. I like sensitive art-house movies. I'm not even much of a partier. I mean, I'll drink myself into oblivion alone in my car.
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When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
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I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.
Zach Galifianakis
You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.
Zach Galifianakis
You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
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We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the Girlfriend in a Coma is, like, really funny.
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When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.
Zach Galifianakis
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
Zach Galifianakis
Hookers don't like to snuggle.
Zach Galifianakis
I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'
Zach Galifianakis
I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.
Zach Galifianakis