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I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Thing
Trying
Traditionalist
Underground
Maintain
Comic
Liked
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More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
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I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.
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I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.
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I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
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I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
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I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say I didn't like 9/11.
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Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
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You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
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My real last name is Galifianakisburg.
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I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
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I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
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When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.
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I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging.
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We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics.
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I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell I have diarrhea is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
Zach Galifianakis
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I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food
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I call my balls the bush twins.
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My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
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