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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Always
Hilarious
Fats
Towards
Jokes
Done
Long
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.
Zach Galifianakis
Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.
Zach Galifianakis
As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.
Zach Galifianakis
I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92.
Zach Galifianakis
I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
Zach Galifianakis
The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
Zach Galifianakis
Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'
Zach Galifianakis
I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
Zach Galifianakis
I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy.
Zach Galifianakis
Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
Zach Galifianakis
Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
Zach Galifianakis
I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
Zach Galifianakis
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
Zach Galifianakis
There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life.
Zach Galifianakis
I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy.
Zach Galifianakis
I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.
Zach Galifianakis
I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.
Zach Galifianakis
It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me'. Being popular is poison.
Zach Galifianakis
