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A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 54
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Wrong
Sometimes
Good
Always
Think
Thinking
Lead
Stand
Audience
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
Zach Galifianakis
You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody's so tired.
Zach Galifianakis
Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.
Zach Galifianakis
Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
Zach Galifianakis
When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.
Zach Galifianakis
I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
Zach Galifianakis
I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.
Zach Galifianakis
I have to stop crying when I watch The View. It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.
Zach Galifianakis
I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
Zach Galifianakis
I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people are desperate, and a lot of people are clueless, including me. It's hard to try to figure it out. I've never told you, but I have head shots that if you saw them... they're so terrible! It's so embarrassing.
Zach Galifianakis
Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.
Zach Galifianakis
You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work, it's really quite the opposite of what I am. I like sensitive art-house movies. I'm not even much of a partier. I mean, I'll drink myself into oblivion alone in my car.
Zach Galifianakis
At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
Zach Galifianakis
I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.
Zach Galifianakis
Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
Zach Galifianakis
The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
Zach Galifianakis