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I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Food
Imagine
Feeling
Feelings
Never
Love
Waiter
Arriving
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I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
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I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
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When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.
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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
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I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
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You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
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I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say I didn't like 9/11.
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You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.
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The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out I don't think it really exists anymore.
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I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
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People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.
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You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
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As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.
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I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
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My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.
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It's fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don't play on emotion too much.
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When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.
Zach Galifianakis
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I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
Zach Galifianakis
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You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody's so tired.
Zach Galifianakis