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I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 54
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
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Funny
Would
Hammock
Hammocks
Bought
Revolution
Humor
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I call my balls the bush twins.
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I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that.
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I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.
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Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk I'll take it!
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Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
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Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
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Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
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When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
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I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.
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I'm terrible at heights. I hate it. I'm glad I'm only 5'7.
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I have to stop crying when I watch The View. It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.
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Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.
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My real last name is Galifianakisburg.
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I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
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I like characters that are fragile and a little bit on the edge .
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My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.
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Hookers don't like to snuggle.
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
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I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
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I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say I didn't like 9/11.
Zach Galifianakis
