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I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Write
Onstage
Night
Pops
Three
Fail
Writing
Jokes
Trying
Failing
Every
Watches
Things
Watch
Head
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.
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I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.
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Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'
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Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk I'll take it!
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I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.
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But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.
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The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
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I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
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I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called God, I Hope That's a Mole.
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I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
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I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, What the hell is this? This person's happy! You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.
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Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
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It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me'. Being popular is poison.
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I'm terrible at heights. I hate it. I'm glad I'm only 5'7.
Zach Galifianakis
Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.
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If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.
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I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
Zach Galifianakis
Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
Zach Galifianakis
