Quote

My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Brother
Drives
Laughing
Strings
Humor
Joke
Told
Add
Comedy
Weird
Focus
Shoes
Ford
Funny
Jokes
Shoe
Didn
Laugh
Distracted

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
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I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
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When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
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Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.
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You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.
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We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics.
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I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.
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I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.
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I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
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I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work, it's really quite the opposite of what I am. I like sensitive art-house movies. I'm not even much of a partier. I mean, I'll drink myself into oblivion alone in my car.
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Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
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You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.
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I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
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I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people are desperate, and a lot of people are clueless, including me. It's hard to try to figure it out. I've never told you, but I have head shots that if you saw them... they're so terrible! It's so embarrassing.
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The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
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The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out I don't think it really exists anymore.
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My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
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My comfort zone is press conferences.
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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
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I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.
Zach Galifianakis