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I call my balls the bush twins.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Funny
Twins
Bush
Balls
Humor
Comedy
Call

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'
Zach Galifianakis
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I like characters that are fragile and a little bit on the edge .
Zach Galifianakis
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Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
Zach Galifianakis
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
Zach Galifianakis
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I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.
Zach Galifianakis
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
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There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life.
Zach Galifianakis
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I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92.
Zach Galifianakis
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I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.
Zach Galifianakis
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You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
Zach Galifianakis
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I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
Zach Galifianakis
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The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
Zach Galifianakis
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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
Zach Galifianakis
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My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
Zach Galifianakis
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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Zach Galifianakis
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The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out I don't think it really exists anymore.
Zach Galifianakis
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Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.
Zach Galifianakis
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The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
Zach Galifianakis
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I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food
Zach Galifianakis