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I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Mean
Signs
Think
Neighborhood
Thinking
Slow
Humor
Playing
Comedy
Funny
Children
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My comfort zone is press conferences.
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I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'
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There was a long time where I was an artist in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.
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I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it.
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I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
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When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
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We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics.
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I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.
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My forte is awkwardness.
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My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.
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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
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My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
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As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.
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People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.
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That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.
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I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.
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I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say I didn't like 9/11.
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I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called God, I Hope That's a Mole.
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I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
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