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I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Funny
Children
Mean
Signs
Think
Neighborhood
Thinking
Slow
Humor
Playing
Comedy
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
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Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
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I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
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The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
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I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, You've probably got a woman at every port. Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.
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I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.
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You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
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The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
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But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.
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Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
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My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.
Zach Galifianakis
If you see something, say something.
Zach Galifianakis
I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
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I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy.
Zach Galifianakis
I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
Zach Galifianakis
I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
Zach Galifianakis
My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.
Zach Galifianakis
Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
