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I don't know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Pot
Besides
Marijuana
Weed
Smoking
Would
Assistant
Assistants
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'
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Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.
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When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
Zach Galifianakis
But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.
Zach Galifianakis
When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
Zach Galifianakis
I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.
Zach Galifianakis
That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say I didn't like 9/11.
Zach Galifianakis
There was a long time where I was an artist in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.
Zach Galifianakis
There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life.
Zach Galifianakis
I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy.
Zach Galifianakis
I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.
Zach Galifianakis
Privacy is big for me. To do interviews even, I have a very love/hate with it.
Zach Galifianakis
I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
Zach Galifianakis
Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk I'll take it!
Zach Galifianakis
I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.
Zach Galifianakis
I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
Zach Galifianakis
I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, You've probably got a woman at every port. Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.
Zach Galifianakis
If you see something, say something.
Zach Galifianakis
