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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Smell
Failure
Humor
Funny
Sniff
Like
Onions
Smells
Scratch
Scratches
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
Zach Galifianakis
Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
Zach Galifianakis
My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.
Zach Galifianakis
I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'
Zach Galifianakis
Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
Zach Galifianakis
The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
Zach Galifianakis
I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that.
Zach Galifianakis
I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy.
Zach Galifianakis
There was a long time where I was an artist in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.
Zach Galifianakis
Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
Zach Galifianakis
I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.
Zach Galifianakis
I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
Zach Galifianakis
You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
Zach Galifianakis
You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
Zach Galifianakis
When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
Zach Galifianakis
I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
Zach Galifianakis
I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell I have diarrhea is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
Zach Galifianakis
But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.
Zach Galifianakis
