Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Zach Galifianakis
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Failure
Humor
Funny
Sniff
Like
Onions
Smells
Scratch
Scratches
Smell
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food
Zach Galifianakis
You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
Zach Galifianakis
Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.
Zach Galifianakis
My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
Zach Galifianakis
I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, You've probably got a woman at every port. Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.
Zach Galifianakis
I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.
Zach Galifianakis
Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm terrible at heights. I hate it. I'm glad I'm only 5'7.
Zach Galifianakis
I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
Zach Galifianakis
The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
Zach Galifianakis
I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.
Zach Galifianakis
Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk I'll take it!
Zach Galifianakis
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
Zach Galifianakis
I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.
Zach Galifianakis
Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
Zach Galifianakis
The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
Zach Galifianakis
I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.
Zach Galifianakis
I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it.
Zach Galifianakis
The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
Zach Galifianakis
