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I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Saws
Walk
Tony
Walks
Yelling
Started
Angeles
Stars
Boss
Night
Drinking
Live
Star
Fame
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
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Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
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My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.
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I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it.
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I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it.
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My forte is awkwardness.
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I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
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I call my balls the bush twins.
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Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
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I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'
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I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.
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When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
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I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy.
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If you see something, say something.
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'Baskets' isn't a CBS show. Nothing against that, but this is an off-kilter show on cable that the channel lets you do interesting things. Look, if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, it's just a miniseries.
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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
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My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
Zach Galifianakis
I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
Zach Galifianakis
I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.
Zach Galifianakis
