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I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 54
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Comedy
Funny
Girl
Thinking
Candy
Named
Unfortunate
Fats
Humor
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
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Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.
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I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it.
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I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy.
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My real last name is Galifianakisburg.
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I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.
Zach Galifianakis
I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.
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I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92.
Zach Galifianakis
When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food
Zach Galifianakis
At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
Zach Galifianakis
Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.
Zach Galifianakis
A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.
Zach Galifianakis
It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me'. Being popular is poison.
Zach Galifianakis
Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
Zach Galifianakis
I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.
Zach Galifianakis
I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.
Zach Galifianakis
I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, You've probably got a woman at every port. Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.
Zach Galifianakis
When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
Zach Galifianakis