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I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Walked
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Making
Love
Raisins
Grandparents
Grandparent

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We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the Girlfriend in a Coma is, like, really funny.
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I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.
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I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
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My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
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When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.
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When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
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My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
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I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
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The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
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I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
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People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.
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Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.
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I like characters that are fragile and a little bit on the edge .
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I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
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Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.
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I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
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I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.
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My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.
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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
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