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If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Waffles
Pilates
Blog
Freak
Read
Mean

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.
Zach Galifianakis
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I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy.
Zach Galifianakis
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I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging.
Zach Galifianakis
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I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.
Zach Galifianakis
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I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.
Zach Galifianakis
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Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'
Zach Galifianakis
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My comfort zone is press conferences.
Zach Galifianakis
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My forte is awkwardness.
Zach Galifianakis
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You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
Zach Galifianakis
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It's fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don't play on emotion too much.
Zach Galifianakis
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Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
Zach Galifianakis
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I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
Zach Galifianakis
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People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.
Zach Galifianakis
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Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk I'll take it!
Zach Galifianakis
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Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
Zach Galifianakis
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I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
Zach Galifianakis
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
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The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
Zach Galifianakis
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As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.
Zach Galifianakis