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If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Mean
Waffles
Pilates
Blog
Freak
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More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
Zach Galifianakis
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
Zach Galifianakis
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I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy.
Zach Galifianakis
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It's fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don't play on emotion too much.
Zach Galifianakis
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Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.
Zach Galifianakis
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My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
Zach Galifianakis
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Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.
Zach Galifianakis
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Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk I'll take it!
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.
Zach Galifianakis
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People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.
Zach Galifianakis
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When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.
Zach Galifianakis
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We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the Girlfriend in a Coma is, like, really funny.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
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I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
Zach Galifianakis
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I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
Zach Galifianakis
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There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life.
Zach Galifianakis
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Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.
Zach Galifianakis