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If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Blog
Freak
Read
Mean
Waffles
Pilates

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell I have diarrhea is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
Zach Galifianakis
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Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.
Zach Galifianakis
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A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.
Zach Galifianakis
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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Zach Galifianakis
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I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, You've probably got a woman at every port. Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.
Zach Galifianakis
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I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
Zach Galifianakis
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I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
Zach Galifianakis
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Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
Zach Galifianakis
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My forte is awkwardness.
Zach Galifianakis
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I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.
Zach Galifianakis
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I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
Zach Galifianakis
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My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
Zach Galifianakis
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I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging.
Zach Galifianakis
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I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
Zach Galifianakis
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That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.
Zach Galifianakis
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When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
Zach Galifianakis
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As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
Zach Galifianakis
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When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.
Zach Galifianakis