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I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Read
Like
People
Bullshit
Bible
Watching
Places
Public

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called God, I Hope That's a Mole.
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American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.
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My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
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Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
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I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
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I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.
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I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.
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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
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You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
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People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.
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I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.
Zach Galifianakis
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The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
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My comfort zone is press conferences.
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At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
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My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.
Zach Galifianakis
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But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.
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I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92.
Zach Galifianakis
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I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'
Zach Galifianakis
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I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging.
Zach Galifianakis