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The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
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Font
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Sarcastic
Interviews
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it.
Zach Galifianakis
I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that.
Zach Galifianakis
I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
Zach Galifianakis
I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
Zach Galifianakis
I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
Zach Galifianakis
I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, You've probably got a woman at every port. Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.
Zach Galifianakis
I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
Zach Galifianakis
I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.
Zach Galifianakis
American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.
Zach Galifianakis
I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
Zach Galifianakis
Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.
Zach Galifianakis
My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.
Zach Galifianakis
Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
Zach Galifianakis
I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell I have diarrhea is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
Zach Galifianakis
Hookers don't like to snuggle.
Zach Galifianakis
You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
Zach Galifianakis
People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.
Zach Galifianakis
Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
