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Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Sarcastic
Interviews
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More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
Zach Galifianakis
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That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.
Zach Galifianakis
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I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
Zach Galifianakis
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I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.
Zach Galifianakis
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My real last name is Galifianakisburg.
Zach Galifianakis
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You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group.
Zach Galifianakis
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We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the Girlfriend in a Coma is, like, really funny.
Zach Galifianakis
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You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
Zach Galifianakis
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You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
Zach Galifianakis
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As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.
Zach Galifianakis
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My comfort zone is press conferences.
Zach Galifianakis
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I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
Zach Galifianakis
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Hookers don't like to snuggle.
Zach Galifianakis
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If you see something, say something.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm terrible at heights. I hate it. I'm glad I'm only 5'7.
Zach Galifianakis
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I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.
Zach Galifianakis
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When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
Zach Galifianakis
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I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
Zach Galifianakis