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We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 54
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Growing
Backgrounds
Politics
Greek
Talk
North
Family
Debate
Always
Coffee
Debates
Constantly
Carolina
Drink
Talked
Blood
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More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I have to stop crying when I watch The View. It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.
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People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.
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Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
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I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell I have diarrhea is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
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When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
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I don't know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.
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Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
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There was a long time where I was an artist in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.
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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
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I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
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I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.
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I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
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I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.
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I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.
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I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
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When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
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Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
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My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
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I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.
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I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
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