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Being around blind people is always a little frustrating to me because I know they have no idea how handsome I am.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Ideas
Little
Always
Frustrating
People
Handsome
Blind
Idea
Around
Littles
More quotes by Zach Braff
I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.
Zach Braff
I think a big part of being a success is confidence. Just look at me, I know I'm successful, and I am.
Zach Braff
Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'
Zach Braff
Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
Zach Braff
If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!
Zach Braff
I mean, some people accuse me of being racist. I'm totally not, I'm just better than everybody else.
Zach Braff
I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].
Zach Braff
One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
Zach Braff
I've been doing som jogging at home recently and every time I try the distance I end up beating his time with like three or four seconds.
Zach Braff
Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.
Zach Braff
Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.
Zach Braff
I don't think it's a black and white issue. If a man's family is starving so to speak, I don't think I'll hold it against him for stealing a loaf of bread.
Zach Braff
I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?
Zach Braff
People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?
Zach Braff
Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
Zach Braff
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
Seriously, when's the last time you saw me wear shorts?
Zach Braff
I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
Zach Braff
The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.
Zach Braff
If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.
Zach Braff
