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I mean, some people accuse me of being racist. I'm totally not, I'm just better than everybody else.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Everybody
Else
Better
Mean
People
Accuse
Racist
Totally

More quotes by Zach Braff

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I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
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People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.
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They say that guys who like chick flicks tend to do a little better with the ladies. Well, I INVENTED the chick flick, so you can pretty much guess where that leaves me.
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I had a very funny family.
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Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.
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Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.
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When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
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Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'
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Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?
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To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.
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I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
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Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.
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Seriously, when's the last time you saw me wear shorts?
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I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.
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People keep asking me whether I'm going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I'm like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It's like denying the cure for polio or something.
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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
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One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
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Ya know, Hitler was this evil, evil man. But with the World Bank and Israel manipulating America, he might have been on to something.
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I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.
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