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I had a very funny family.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Funny
Family

More quotes by Zach Braff

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I'm pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I've never seen it. Have you? I didn't think so.
Zach Braff
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I'm 26 years old, and I've spent my whole life waiting for something else to start. Now I realize that this is all there is, and I'm going to try to live my life like that.
Zach Braff
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Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
Zach Braff
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Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
Zach Braff
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I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
Zach Braff
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The Jews are just clumsy bakers.
Zach Braff
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You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
Zach Braff
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I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that.
Zach Braff
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I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.
Zach Braff
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I heard about the Dalai Lama, you know and I thought to myself, why not me?
Zach Braff
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Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do
Zach Braff
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The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.
Zach Braff
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I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
Zach Braff
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I've always preferred Marvel over DC. I just relate to their characters better. I mean look at Wolverine, at first he was just a bit player in an ensemble cast. Now he's the only reason people read X-Men. Just like me and Scrubs.
Zach Braff
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I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold.
Zach Braff
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The fact that 'Scrubs' is so popular in Israel is very important to me. I feel like I'm helping to cancel out the thousands of years of oppression the Jewish people have suffered.
Zach Braff
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I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.
Zach Braff
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I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?
Zach Braff
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Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.
Zach Braff
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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
Zach Braff