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I know every politician spins the truth a little.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Every
Spins
Politician
Truth
Littles
Little
More quotes by Zach Braff
You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can decide whether they want to celebrate me or Jesus. If you ask me, the choice is pretty obvious.
Zach Braff
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
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I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?
Zach Braff
Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
Zach Braff
Well I don't like to think too far ahead because it scares me a little to think of what this world will come to after I'm gone, but I suppose life will have to go on, right? At least everyone will still be able to watch reruns of Scrubs.
Zach Braff
Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
Zach Braff
Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.
Zach Braff
I really like just super dry comedy.
Zach Braff
Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.
Zach Braff
I mean, what's eleven million people now days?
Zach Braff
When I played the Shins, I changed someone's life. When I play Belle and Sebastian in a pivotal scene in my next movie...well, let's just say I made sure I that I can't be held legally responsible for all the deaths people will suffer out of shock upon hearing them. They're a terrific band.
Zach Braff
It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.
Zach Braff
The success of 'Scrubs' allowed me to pursue anything I felt passionately about without having to worry about money. It allowed me to spend my summer work shopping my show at a nonprofit theater.
Zach Braff
I'm a big proponent of 'Don't Ask, Don't tell,' in fact, I enforce it strictly on all of my dates. First, I don't ask them for sex, and then I warn them not to tell anyone after I'm through.
Zach Braff
It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.
Zach Braff
I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
Zach Braff
I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?
Zach Braff
In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were as talented as I am, he would have made mixtapes for his movies instead of letting some schmuck write the soundtracks for him. But then if he were as talented as I am, he'd be Zach Braff. And have his own Grammy.
Zach Braff
It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment
Zach Braff
Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?
Zach Braff