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I really like just super dry comedy.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Dry
Super
Comedy
Really
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More quotes by Zach Braff
I've turned down a lot of proposed scripts for Scrubs episodes, mainly ones with AIDs patients. It sickens me, really. If you don't want AIDs, don't be a ice cream man. Or African. I'm neither and I'm fine.
Zach Braff
What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Zach Braff
I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.
Zach Braff
I love signing autographs! Sometimes, when people ask me for one, I keep the photo for myself and frame it. It's a Win-Win situation really I get an extra 25 dollars in my pocket AND another portrait for my bedroom.
Zach Braff
I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another movie.
Zach Braff
Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?
Zach Braff
I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
Zach Braff
Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter... Well I'd probably keep it actually.
Zach Braff
I don't ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God's way of rewarding me for Garden State
Zach Braff
It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.
Zach Braff
I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
Zach Braff
In theater or movies you see either 'I'm religious' or 'I'm an atheist.' I've never seen too much discussion of 'I believe there's a higher power but I'm hesitant to reach out to him because I don't know if I'm worthy of his attention.
Zach Braff
Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.
Zach Braff
I don't think that other races are inferior, I just think that there's something special about white people. Sometimes, when I think about all the things white people have accomplished throughout history, I smile, and I nod, and I think to myself, 'Yeah, I'm glad I'm on that team.'
Zach Braff
I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
Zach Braff
I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage?
Zach Braff
I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.
Zach Braff
The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.
Zach Braff
I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.
Zach Braff
I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.
Zach Braff