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In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Quite
Bartenders
Eye
Bartender
Evil
Cab
Everyone
Taxi
Drivers
Bars
York
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More quotes by Zach Braff
I've always tried to learn from the greats: Orson Welles, Humphrey Bogart, Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus... it's just that there's this tremendous pressure to correct all the things they got wrong.
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It's... it's such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I'll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.
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Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist
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One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
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I tried it a few times but didn't see the point. I'm Zach Braff. What the fudge do I need a team for besides holding me back and sucking? If I wanted that, I'd just walk on the set of 'Scrubs'.
Zach Braff
I know every politician spins the truth a little.
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I am really driven, but my drive doesn't effect the conversations I have in my head about life, and my worries and fears and insecurities.
Zach Braff
People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.
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I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
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I actually did ponder doing the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie thing and get a kid from Ethiopia. But you know, I already have an ashtray.
Zach Braff
I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.
Zach Braff
I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
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I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?
Zach Braff
Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?
Zach Braff
I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.
Zach Braff
I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?
Zach Braff
Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.
Zach Braff
I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh
Zach Braff
It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
Zach Braff
Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.
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