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If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Probably
Serials
Actors
Killer
Ever
Suspect
Would
Killers
Suspects
Damn
Hmm
Actor
Likeable
Wasn
Serial
More quotes by Zach Braff
I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.
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I could be one if I wanted to, I'm just way too overqualified for a job that simple.
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What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
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So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don't see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.
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It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
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The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.
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I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
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I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?
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Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.
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It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!
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When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
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Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.
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If Democrats want to start winning elections in this country, they're going to have to start connecting with voters as well as I connect with my fans.
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Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.
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You know, I've occasionally tried to watch other shows besides Scrubs, but comparing them is a bit like me competing in the special Olympics. Obviously I would win without contest, but the point is that they are trying their best.
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I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.
Zach Braff
If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get shot. I'm not saying we should throw a party or anything, but is it such a tragedy? If I'd gotten shot before I made 'Garden State', yeah, that's a tragedy, but some red-state hick getting his legs blown off? Come on.
Zach Braff
I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
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I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?
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I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.
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