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I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Late
Guy
Hours
Hour
Guys
Early

More quotes by Zach Braff

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Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.
Zach Braff
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Sure, they are the future of our world. Nike and Reebok need more factory workers every day.
Zach Braff
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I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.
Zach Braff
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It's not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while.
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Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like.
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People are always saying bad things about them, but really they think they're just trying to clean up our planet. I'm not saying it's right but, you know, we could all benefit from following that example.
Zach Braff
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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
Zach Braff
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Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.
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I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.
Zach Braff
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So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don't see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.
Zach Braff
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I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
Zach Braff
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Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.
Zach Braff
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It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?' That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough
Zach Braff
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Ya know, Hitler was this evil, evil man. But with the World Bank and Israel manipulating America, he might have been on to something.
Zach Braff
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Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I die, I hope to go out the same way I came in, but I don't think my mother would be into that.
Zach Braff
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It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
Zach Braff
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A child's death is really of less value than an adult's. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that's not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.
Zach Braff
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I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another movie.
Zach Braff
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You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.
Zach Braff
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Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?
Zach Braff