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I've been doing som jogging at home recently and every time I try the distance I end up beating his time with like three or four seconds.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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Distance
Four
Three
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Home
Jogging
Trying
Beating
Every
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Seconds
More quotes by Zach Braff
I never taught a blind/deaf chick to read, but somehow I've managed to turn Scrubs into a watchable show. That may not sound like much, but take a look at my surrounding cast and ask yourself, who's the real miracle worker?
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Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.
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I'm not the kind of person who digs through things other people have thrown away.
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Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.
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I find it hard to believe that so many people doubt the existence of God. I mean, seriously, I'm here, so is it such a stretch to imagine that another all-powerful being could exist somewhere in the universe?
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
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Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.
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You know, I've occasionally tried to watch other shows besides Scrubs, but comparing them is a bit like me competing in the special Olympics. Obviously I would win without contest, but the point is that they are trying their best.
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I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.
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It's hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.
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There is one person I can think of better than me. And that's Zach Braff. What a cool guy.
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Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.
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I believe the general consensus is the bigger it is, the more women flock to you. I guess its a good thing mine is HUGE!
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I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?
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I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.
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The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?
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My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.
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Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.
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I was inspired by World Vision. It's almost like I sponsored (Donald) Faison and gave him an opportunity to do something with his life. What more would he want than to work with me?
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She can't say no if she's unconscious.
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