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I've been doing som jogging at home recently and every time I try the distance I end up beating his time with like three or four seconds.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Home
Jogging
Trying
Beating
Every
Recently
Time
Seconds
Like
Distance
Four
Three
Ends

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I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?
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Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
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A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.
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I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.
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My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.
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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
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I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
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When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
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Gay men in L.A. are all a bunch of tens looking for an eleven.
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I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?
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I feel really bad for everyone who died on 9/11. Not just the people in the World Trade Center, Pentagon, or Flight 93, but all of the terrorists, too. 'Garden State' came out in 2004. That means none of them got a chance to see it. Let that sink in for a second. No wonder they're building a memorial.
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Look on the bright side that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.
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I mean, I know thousands of people died and everything, but if it happened today, there's just no excuse. They'd be much safer inside a movie theater watching one of my movies instead of burning alive in a collapsing skyscraper.
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The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.
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I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.
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I'm sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it's all going according to plan and some weeks where you're super frustrated.
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I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.
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I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?
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I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.
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So, yeah, I mean, there is something universal about that feeling - that 20-something, what the hell am I going to do with my life, I'm lost and my parents are freaking me out, and what's the point? Every generation has a way of making that unique, but there are certain universals of that feeling.
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