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Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Played
Garden
State
Character
States
Better
Every
Awesome
Way
Honestly
More quotes by Zach Braff
Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.
Zach Braff
I've turned down a lot of proposed scripts for Scrubs episodes, mainly ones with AIDs patients. It sickens me, really. If you don't want AIDs, don't be a ice cream man. Or African. I'm neither and I'm fine.
Zach Braff
People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday.
Zach Braff
When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
Zach Braff
Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.
Zach Braff
People are always saying bad things about them, but really they think they're just trying to clean up our planet. I'm not saying it's right but, you know, we could all benefit from following that example.
Zach Braff
If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get shot. I'm not saying we should throw a party or anything, but is it such a tragedy? If I'd gotten shot before I made 'Garden State', yeah, that's a tragedy, but some red-state hick getting his legs blown off? Come on.
Zach Braff
I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.
Zach Braff
I know every politician spins the truth a little.
Zach Braff
I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
Zach Braff
Look on the bright side that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.
Zach Braff
It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.
Zach Braff
Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I'd make a pretty good saint.
Zach Braff
My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.
Zach Braff
I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.
Zach Braff
Seriously, when's the last time you saw me wear shorts?
Zach Braff
I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage?
Zach Braff
It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture
Zach Braff
It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
Zach Braff
Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'
Zach Braff