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If I had a billion dollars I would...oh wait...already do.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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More quotes by Zach Braff

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I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
Zach Braff
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When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
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The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.
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In a perfect world, everybody would be gay. I mean if everybody looked like Zach Braff, you just wouldn't be able to resist.
Zach Braff
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It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
Zach Braff
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Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
Zach Braff
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It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
Zach Braff
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I don't ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God's way of rewarding me for Garden State
Zach Braff
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The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.
Zach Braff
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Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.
Zach Braff
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I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.
Zach Braff
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I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
Zach Braff
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I tried it a few times but didn't see the point. I'm Zach Braff. What the fudge do I need a team for besides holding me back and sucking? If I wanted that, I'd just walk on the set of 'Scrubs'.
Zach Braff
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I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
Zach Braff
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I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
Zach Braff
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I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh
Zach Braff
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Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
Zach Braff
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I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?
Zach Braff
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In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.
Zach Braff
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I'm 26 years old, and I've spent my whole life waiting for something else to start. Now I realize that this is all there is, and I'm going to try to live my life like that.
Zach Braff