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I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Hate
Think
Thinking
Jews
Jew
Shouldn
Saying
Alive

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Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.
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I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.
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I tried it a few times but didn't see the point. I'm Zach Braff. What the fudge do I need a team for besides holding me back and sucking? If I wanted that, I'd just walk on the set of 'Scrubs'.
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Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.
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At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.
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If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.
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I went to film school and wanted to learn everything there was about making movies.
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I mean, I know thousands of people died and everything, but if it happened today, there's just no excuse. They'd be much safer inside a movie theater watching one of my movies instead of burning alive in a collapsing skyscraper.
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Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
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A child's death is really of less value than an adult's. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that's not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.
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My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.
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I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.
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So, yeah, I mean, there is something universal about that feeling - that 20-something, what the hell am I going to do with my life, I'm lost and my parents are freaking me out, and what's the point? Every generation has a way of making that unique, but there are certain universals of that feeling.
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One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.
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I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.
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I don't care about image and all that nonsense. I'm in sweat pants every day. I don't play the game at all.
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When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
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I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
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I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
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When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.
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