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The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Greatest
Feed
Help
Hungry
Perfect
Charity
Helping
Spending
Children
Dollars
Spend
Instead
Contribute
Hair
Dollar

More quotes by Zach Braff

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Im just not really attracted to black chicks.
Zach Braff
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What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
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Sure, they are the future of our world. Nike and Reebok need more factory workers every day.
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At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.
Zach Braff
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People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday.
Zach Braff
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I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.
Zach Braff
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Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
Zach Braff
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It's hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.
Zach Braff
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Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?
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I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.
Zach Braff
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It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!
Zach Braff
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The success of 'Scrubs' allowed me to pursue anything I felt passionately about without having to worry about money. It allowed me to spend my summer work shopping my show at a nonprofit theater.
Zach Braff
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I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
Zach Braff
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Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.
Zach Braff
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Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me.
Zach Braff
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I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.
Zach Braff
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I think they're bogus, honestly. How utter garbage like Crash and Million Dollar Baby can win best picture, where true works of art such as Garden State go untouched is beyond me. It just proves how close-minded America really is, and I refuse to take part in it.
Zach Braff
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I don't care about image and all that nonsense. I'm in sweat pants every day. I don't play the game at all.
Zach Braff
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If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.
Zach Braff
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When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff