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One time this guy on the street wanted me to give him a medical opinion, because I'm a doctor on TV. I'm also a real doctor. But I'm also Zack Braff, so I kicked him in the groin.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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Groin
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Kicked
Give
Doctor
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Medical
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Doctors
Real
Street
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I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
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Well I don't like to think too far ahead because it scares me a little to think of what this world will come to after I'm gone, but I suppose life will have to go on, right? At least everyone will still be able to watch reruns of Scrubs.
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I can't say I agree with something that takes the focus away from me.
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A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.
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I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
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The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.
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Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.
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So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don't see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.
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I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?
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I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.
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I could be one if I wanted to, I'm just way too overqualified for a job that simple.
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Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.
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I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.
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If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.
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It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
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Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that
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I didn't necessarily have a total idea when I was writing the movie of where everything was going. I just wanted to have really realistic dialogue and write like people I knew talked. I tried to keep it very real.
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Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?
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Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.
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One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.
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