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I'm a big proponent of 'Don't Ask, Don't tell,' in fact, I enforce it strictly on all of my dates. First, I don't ask them for sex, and then I warn them not to tell anyone after I'm through.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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Enforce
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More quotes by Zach Braff
I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?
Zach Braff
I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.
Zach Braff
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do
Zach Braff
Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me.
Zach Braff
One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.
Zach Braff
Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.
Zach Braff
Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.
Zach Braff
I could see why someone would want to make a website about me, and my quotes. They are all gold. How many people have written, directed AND starred in their own movies. I just don't know why they would want to put words into my mouth, I mean I did write, direct AND star in a critically acclaimed movie.
Zach Braff
I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar to my screenplay for Zach Braff the Movie.
Zach Braff
I don't want to be one of those guys, but Snape DOES kill Dumbledore.
Zach Braff
I always encourage over-tipping if you can afford it because share the wealth.
Zach Braff
Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.
Zach Braff
Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.
Zach Braff
Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
Zach Braff
I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
Zach Braff
Actually when I gave out the script, I gave it with a CD of all the music I wanted to put in the movie, and again, we never thought we'd get all that music.
Zach Braff
The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.
Zach Braff
I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh
Zach Braff
I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
Zach Braff