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Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Make
Nine
Eight
Gold
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Winning
Power
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Medals
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Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me
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I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that.
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Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
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I know every politician spins the truth a little.
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Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.
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Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.
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The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?
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One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.
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Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.
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To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.
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You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.
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The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.
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If I had a billion dollars I would...oh wait...already do.
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I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
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I think I suffer from some mild depression.
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I never taught a blind/deaf chick to read, but somehow I've managed to turn Scrubs into a watchable show. That may not sound like much, but take a look at my surrounding cast and ask yourself, who's the real miracle worker?
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Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.
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I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
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