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It's not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Would
Guess
Terrible
Maybe
Actually
Half
Show
Funny
Ricky
Shows
Talented
More quotes by Zach Braff
I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.
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My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
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It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment
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Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.
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I've turned down a lot of proposed scripts for Scrubs episodes, mainly ones with AIDs patients. It sickens me, really. If you don't want AIDs, don't be a ice cream man. Or African. I'm neither and I'm fine.
Zach Braff
I don't want to be one of those guys, but Snape DOES kill Dumbledore.
Zach Braff
Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.
Zach Braff
I love signing autographs! Sometimes, when people ask me for one, I keep the photo for myself and frame it. It's a Win-Win situation really I get an extra 25 dollars in my pocket AND another portrait for my bedroom.
Zach Braff
I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
Zach Braff
Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?
Zach Braff
I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.
Zach Braff
I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?
Zach Braff
One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
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I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.
Zach Braff
Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
Zach Braff
Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.
Zach Braff
I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog
Zach Braff
I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.
Zach Braff
What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Zach Braff
Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist
Zach Braff
